Dear long gone lover,
I’m sitting in a cab right now during these hours of surge pricing, and it suddenly jolted, I think the signals were broke, and I remembered how you detested surge pricing.
Amongst the things you used to hate, there was body shaming, and how How I met your mother cannot come close to FRIENDS, materialistic affection, and the collar bones of some that look like malnourished skeletons. I wonder if you still hate these things, if you still discuss the things you learnt today with a person who has no idea what you’re talking about, or if you still draw sketches in the back of your notebook in boring classes whilst contemplating career options that’d come with it. I remember that you used to sing Adele and it used to sound like one terribly sick Bob Marley, how you used to laugh saying, We were on a Break, when I used to ask who was the guy you had met that day, I know we were never in a proper relationship, always on stops, haults, breaks..and it still somehow continued. I know it is one of the things you hated, to hold onto what is gone, but I think it was also your most loved thing, to love a love which doesn’t end ever.
I date girls, but they do not last more than a week, I think I don’t intend to make it last, I fear attachment, maybe, or maybe, that I try to search for you in them, and when I do not find you, I step back. It takes more than courage to begin again, what you have, and I hope you’re fine with him, doing your shenanigans, and breathing his negativity in, and exhaling just happiness. I think it was your way to fill the air with yourself, I loved that air, I wanted to live in that, and if my lungs had to be polluted, only air I want to breathe in, but instead here I’m, smoking one after another, and hating it. I remember the things you hated, and it’s actually a pretty long list, I remember the things you loved, and one of them was me.. or is it hate now? I hope not.
While we go and long for new memories, I think my most precious treasure would be the nights I stayed up talking, the days I watched movies of your choice, the unlimited references of FRIENDS we used to giggle to, they kind of still keep coming back as revenant, I hope they win an Oscar too. And to all the things you and I loved jointly, I think we never loved us at the same time, and that is what we jointly hated. So I hope to find you sometime, to let you know that I would never run off from our wedding, or I am willing to give up food for you, or I would fight for you with my parents, my wonderfully weird girl, and without thinking twice, I would Get off the plane for you..would you?
And Just so you know, it costed me and extra 100, surge pricing, one thing you were right about.