I cannot contact you, I am not authorized enough, yea, the court would sue me if I do.
So, I am not gonna call you.
So hey man, this is the father of the children you’re going to live with, and the ex-husband of your wife, writing to you, for reasons, and guidelines I would wish to pass on, or share the darkest, most trivial moments and the brightest ,priceless time of my tenure with that family. Before entering a house of madness, love, devotion, affection and ambitions. Be prepared, be very prepared. It’s a castle with a queen, and two of the most adorable horsemen, it’s sheer bliss to feel them, and to realise they are yours, you’ll know that, I can’t..anymore. The queen makes wonderful cookies, to keep you interested, and makes great love too(I’m very uncomfortable writing this).
But, you know, if she loves you, you’ll know by the way she dresses, by the way she looks at you, or by the way she touches you, all will fall into place when she’s around, and you’ll know how difficult it is for me to leave her. She’s a queen of hearts, with an epitome of beauty, and with a little childish aspect. I know you know it till now, yes, I still love her, and I’ll always do.
Why would I leave then?
Oh damn, this is the nightmare of my life, I was too selfish, I was too self centred, I was too a drunkard, I was too a maniac to hit her, and I was too a lunatic to let go of her.
Too dumb, too silly. I’m a writer, by the way, what do you do? Write me if you ever want to..
So, yes writers do that, writers do get drunk, and frustrated, I’m frankly not a caffeine aided, but more of an alcoholic, I do that, it’s not an addiction, but yes, I have to, how would I write then?
These soulful spring nights, with your happy family, and you feel lost inside, terribly trying to comprehend what defines you, and what not..
It was my part of journey, journey to what shook my whole world, our divorce.
The arguments, and disagreements were always there, but maybe, suddenly she was worried about me more than anything else, like, what am I doing to myself, or what do I keep thinking all the time, what do I keep mumbling, or why I do not even look at my family with a smile, that pathetic and terrifying feeling, it was on her face, and that was what broke me one day, it suffocated me, and one day, while her questions were still at bay, I slapped her, and then broke the glass of wine onto my own wrist. And at that moment, I thought I was freeing ourselves, but epiphany had it that I’m the most miserable man in the whole world. My kids saw it, and were horrified. I remember the looks on all the three faces, and I knew my destiny has been snatched away by my own anxiety and apprehensions.
I took out some time, and came back, to realize that my home is actually MY HOME. I spent time with my kids, making up to them, taking them to their classes, and dropping them, but maybe, I couldn’t make up to her, or I was too late. She already had met you, and had that smile and blush when you guys were on phone, ofcourse I knew that, maybe, it was the same old blush, that I saw when she was this happy and joyful because of me. You rescued her, but annihilated my world, I want to thankyou but I’m unable. But I know, she deserves the best, I hope you turn out to be the BEST. But you know what you’re gonna love more than anything else? Or what do I miss more than anything else? My two Horsemen. Lily and Joey. I anticipate that you’ve met them till now. I hope they like you, they are very choosy at picking up people they like, I hope you get lucky. So, the routine with them, you’re gonna love it. The amity they share with you, you would want to forget all your friends, and just spent time with them, they are too busy by the way to do that.
Lily is an avid reader, she also dances, her mother has forced her to join dancing classes, but I was more of a ‘follow your heart, abide by your instinct, hear your calling’ kind of a parent, maybe, I’m really proud at anouncing it, but because of me, she started writing, she’s too little to write poetry,but she writes journal, and mentions her daily life. Make sure you get in her good books, or your bad impression would forever be scripted and stored in that little dairy. But you know, if you want to connect to her, make her rhymes, find adjectives for her mother and her brother, read her a bedtime story, and make her laugh at your jokes.
Take her to the Valentine’s, yes, she has been an eleven year runner for my Valentine’s days. Do all of that, and struck a chord, she’s gonna love you if you make efforts, she wants to feel important, you know, that little egoistic princess, but you’ll love each and every part of her, and you’ll know it’s beautiful, it’s a beautiful world, and there’s harmony and peace, you’ll know there’s love.
I think you’re still reading this,
So, I’ll tell you about my little hero. The second man of the house. He’s passionate, he’s passionate, about? About everything. You know if you give him a task to clean up dishes, and he can be passionate about doing that. And you’re gonna love that winning smile of his with a devilish little smirk, you’ll keep guessing what he’s gonna upto the next, and you’ll never know, it can be sliding from the staircase,or just lay watching the skies. Watch the skies with him, he loves that, talk to him about the stars, and ask him how his day went, or what he’s gonna be, the sparkle in his eyes is far more appealing than what you’re ever gonna experience while watching the stars. You know, you’ll know how you want to do something, and it’s a harm to world and oneself to stop. In those eyes, you’ll know that dreaming of changing the world is contagious, and there’s no dream beyond possibility.
I had my life in them, and now, I hand my life to you, take good care of them. I know, I would never be able to get over my failure at being the most privileged family man, or my failure to identify the most precious gems. Happiness, and these three are the same. Do not let go of them ever. Do not make the same mistakes. Do not love yourself more than them. You’ll regret, and you’ll wish to rescind it and you will know that its pointless now, to live. But I’ll survive, I’ll write about them, I think, and maybe that will keep me sane.
Love the love of my life, and protect my family.
Don’t tell them I miss them, tell them that was one ruthless, cruel father. Tell them I never deserved them, or don’t tell them at all, let them forget me. Let her forget me..
I hope you fit in well, and I know you’re gonna love them. Oh damn,I wrote this without alcohol, I think love does a better job. Anyways, write to me if you want to…
All the best man.